email:
truancy@att.net
Parents and Guardians of Truants
Texas' Compulsory Attendance statutes refer to 'truancy' as 'failure to attend' school; 'truancy' is associated with students. Texas law also deals directly with parents and guardians of truants. Texas' Compulsory Attendance statutes also include a category of offense called 'Contributing to Truancy.' This offense is punishable by fines, court costs, and other remedies including incarceration. On July 14, 2002 the Dallas Morning News, on the front page of its Metro section, reported a Dallas County judge jailing a 79 year old grandmother when she didn't ensure that her grand daughter, in her care, was attending school. Some judges order parents to attend school with their children. Other judges order parents to attend PTA meetings and/or counseling sessions.
Encourage your child to think about what careers interest them and link the importance of school to success in their career. Three of my favorite websites for career exploration:
http://www.bls.gov/k12/ www.nycareerzone.org and O*NET OnLine
Recommended reading for parents: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" by Stephen Covey
Encourage your teen to read: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey
(also available in Spanish)
How can parents assist students' attendance?
U.S. Department of Education, "Helping Your Child Succeed in School"
Talk with Your Child
Talking and listening play major roles in children’s school success. It’s through hearing parents and family members talk and through responding to that talk that young children begin to pick up the language skills they will need if they are to do well. For example, children who don’t hear a lot of talk and who aren’t encouraged to talk themselves often have problems learning to read, which can lead to other school problems. In addition, children who haven’t learned to listen carefully often have trouble following directions and paying attention in class.
Think of talking with your child as being like a tennis game with words—instead of a ball—bouncing back and forth. Find time to talk any place, for example:
As you walk with your child or ride with her in a car or on a bus, talk with her about what she’s doing at school Ask her to tell you about a school assembly or a field trip. Point out and talk about things that you see as you walk—funny signs, new cars, interesting people.
As you shop in a store, talk with your child about prices, differences in brands and how to pick out good vegetables and fruit. Give your child directions about where to find certain items, then have him go get them.
As you fix dinner, ask your child to help you follow the steps in a recipe. Talk with him about what can happen if you miss a step or leave out an ingredient.
As you fix a sink or repair a broken table, ask your child to hand you the tools that you name. Talk with her about each step you take to complete the repair. Tell her what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Ask her for suggestions about how you should do something.
As you watch TV together, talk with your child about the programs. If you’re watching one of her favorite programs, encourage her to tell you about the background of the characters, which ones she likes and dislikes and who the actors are. Compare the program to a program that you liked when you were her age.
As you read a book with your child, pause occasionally to talk to him about what’s happening in the book. Help him to relate the events in the book to events in his life: “Look at that tall building! Didn’t we see that when we were in Chicago?” Ask him to tell in his own words what the book was about. Ask him about new words in a book and help him to figure out what they mean.
It’s also important for you to show your child that you’re interested in what he has to say. Demonstrate for him how to be a good listener:
When your child talks to you, stop what you’re doing and pay attention. Look at him and ask questions to let him know that you’ve heard what he said: “So when are you going to help your granddad work on his car?”
When your child tells you about something, occasionally repeat what he says to let him know that you’re listening closely: “The school bus broke down twice!”
Some conversation starters:
Monitor Homework
Let your child know that you think education is important and so homework has to be done. Here are some ways to help your child with homework:
Have a special place for your child to study. The homework area doesn’t have to be fancy. A desk in the bedroom is nice, but for many children, the kitchen table or a corner of the living room works just fine. The area should have good lighting and it should be fairly quiet. Provide supplies and identify resources. For starters, have available pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper and a dictionary. Other supplies that might be helpful include a stapler, paper clips, maps, a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, glue, paste, scissors, a ruler, a calculator, index cards, a thesaurus and an almanac. If possible, keep these items together in one place. If you can’t provide your child with needed supplies, check with her teacher, school counselor or principal about possible sources of assistance.
Set a regular time for homework. Having a regular time to do homework helps children to finish assignments. Of course, a good schedule depends in part on your child’s age, as well as her specific needs. You’ll need to work with a young child to develop a schedule. You should give your older child the responsibility for making up a schedule independently—although you’ll want to make sure that it’s a workable one. You may find it helpful to have her write out her schedule and put it in a place where you’ll see it often, such as on the refrigerator.
Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and discourage your child from making and receiving social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to a classmate about an assignment, however, may be helpful.) If you live in a small or noisy household, try having all family members take part in a quiet activity during homework time. You may need to take a noisy toddler outside or into another room to play. If distractions can’t be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the local library.
Don’t expect or demand perfection. When your child asks you to look at what she’s done—from skating a figure 8 to finishing a math assignment—show interest and praise her when she’s done something well. If you have criticisms or suggestions, make them in a helpful way.
One final note: You may be reluctant to help your child with homework because you feel that you don’t know the subject well enough or because you don’t speak or read English as well as your child. But helping with homework doesn’t mean doing the homework. It isn’t about solving the problems for your child, it’s about supporting him to do his best. You may not know enough about a subject such as calculus to help your child with a specific assignment, but you can help nonetheless by showing that you are interested, helping him get organized, providing a place the materials he needs to work, monitoring his work to see that he completes it and praising his efforts.
Monitor TV Viewing and Video Game Playing
American children on average spend far more time watching TV or playing video games than they do completing homework or other school-related activities. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to use TV and video games wisely:
Limit the time that you let your child watch TV. Too much television cuts into important activities in a child’s life, such as reading, playing with friends and talking with family members.
Model good TV viewing habits. Remember that children often imitate their parents’ behavior. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members watch a lot of TV are likely to spend their time in the same way. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members have “quiet” time away from the TV when they read (either alone to each other), talk to each other, play games or engage in other activities tend to do the same.
Watch TV with your child when you can. Talk with him about what you see. Answer his questions. Try to point out the things in TV programs that are like your child’s everyday life.
When you can’t watch TV with your child, spot check to see what she’s watching. Ask questions after the program ends. See what excites her and what troubles her. Find out what she has learned and remembered.
Go to the library and find books that explore the themes of the TV shows that your child watches.
Limit the amount of time your child spends playing video games. As with TV programs, be aware of the games he likes to play and discuss his choices with him.
Encourage Your Child to Use the Library
Libraries are places of learning and discovery for everyone. Helping your child find out about libraries will set him on the road to being an independent learner. Here are some suggestions for how to help:
Introduce your child to the library as early as possible. Even when your child is a toddler, take him along on weekly trips to the library. If you work during the day or have other obligations, remember that many libraries are open in the evening.
If your child can print his name, it is likely that your library will issue him a library card if you will also sign for him. See that your child gets his own library card as soon as possible so that he can check out his own books.
When you take your child to the library, introduce yourself and your child to the librarian. Ask the librarian to show you around the library and tell you about the services it has to offer. For example, in addition to all kinds of books, your library most likely will have magazines of interest to both your child and to you. It will likely have newspapers from many different places. Most libraries also have tapes and CDs of books, music CDs and tapes, movies on video and on DVD and many more resources. Your library also might have books in languages other than English or programs to help adults improve their English reading skills.
Ask the librarian to tell your child about special programs that he might participate in, such as summer reading programs and book clubs and about services such as homework help.
Let your child know that she must follow the library’s rules of behavior. Libraries want children to use their materials and services. However, they generally have rules such as the following that your child needs to know and obey:
Library materials must be handled carefully.
Materials that are borrowed must be returned on time. Your child needs to learn how long she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.
All library users need to be considerate of each other. Shouting, running and being disruptive are not appropriate library behaviors.
Help Your Child Learn to Use the Internet Properly and Effectively
The Internet/World Wide WEB—a network of computers that connects people and information all around the world—has become an important part of how we learn and of how we interact with others. For children to succeed today, they must be able to use the Internet. Here are some suggestions for helping your child learn to do so properly and effectively:
Spend time online with your child. If you don’t have a computer at home, ask your librarian if the library has computers that you and your child may use. Learn along with your child. If you’re not familiar with computers or with the Internet, ask the librarian if and when someone is available at the library to help you and your child learn together to use them. If your child knows about computers, let her teach you. Ask her to explain what she is doing and why. Ask her to show you her favorite Web sites and to tell you what she likes about them. This will help her build self-confidence and pride in her abilities.
Help your child to locate appropriate Internet Web sites. At the same time, make sure that she understands what you think are appropriate Web sites for her to visit. Point her in the direction of sites that can help her with homework or that relate to her interests.
Pay attention to any games she might download or copy from the Internet. Some games are violent or contain sexual or other content that is inappropriate for children. Resources such as GetNetWise (http://www.getnetwise.org/), a public service provided by Internet corporations and public interest groups and FamiliesConnect (http://www.ala.org/ICONN/familiesconnect.html), a service of the American Library Association, can help you to make good Web site choices and give you more information about Internet use.
You might consider using “filters” to block your child from accessing sites that may be inappropriate. These filters include software programs that you can install on your computer. In addition, many Internet service providers offer filters (often for free) that restrict the sites that children can visit. Of course, these filters are not always completely effective—and children can find ways around them. The best safeguard is your supervision and involvement.
Monitor the amount of time that your child spends online. Internet surfing can be just as time consuming as watching TV. Don’t let it take over your child’s life. Have her place a clock near the computer and keep track of how much time she is spending online. Remember, many commercial online services charge for the amount of time the service is used. These charges can mount up quickly!
Teach your child rules for using the Internet safely. Let him know that he should never do the following:
—tell anyone—including his friends—his computer password;
—use bad language or send cruel, threatening or untrue e-mail messages;
—give out any personal information, including his name or the names of family
members, home address, phone number, age, school name; or
—arrange to meet a stranger that he has “talked” with in an online “chat room.”
For more information about helping your child use the Internet, see the following publications: American Library Association, The Librarian’s Guide to Cyberspace for Parents and Kids; Children’s Partnership, The Parents’ Guide to the Information Superhighway.
Encourage Your Child to Be Responsible and to Work Independently
Taking responsibility and working independently are important qualities for school success. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to develop these qualities:
Establish rules. Every home needs reasonable rules that children know and can depend on. Have your child help you to set rules, then make sure that you enforce the rules consistently.
Make it clear to your child that he has to take responsibility for what he does, both at home and at school. For example, don’t automatically defend your child if his teacher tells you that he is often late to class or is disruptive when he is in class. Ask for his side of the story. If a charge is true, let him take the consequences.
Work with your child to develop a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs to do around the house. List them on a calendar. Younger children can help set the table or put away their toys and clothes. Older children can help prepare meals and clean up afterwards.
Show your child how to break a job down into small steps, then to do the job one step at a time. This works for everything—getting dressed, cleaning a room or doing a big homework assignment.
Make your child responsible for getting ready to go to school each morning—getting up on time, making sure that he has everything he needs for the school day and so forth. If necessary, make a checklist to help him remember what he has to do.
Monitor what your child does after school, in the evenings and on weekends. If you can’t be there when your child gets home, give her the responsibility of checking in with you by phone to discuss her plans.
Set up a school bulletin board in a prominent place in your home. Hang up the school calendar and school notices. Meet once a month to choose which school activities to attend as a family.
Encourage school pride by buying T-shirts, sweatshirts, jackets, caps, or other clothing with the school's logo or mascot for your child to wear.
Call the school and see if you can subscribe to the school newspaper through the mall. When it arrives, read and discuss it with your child.
Write thank-you notes, leave voice-mail messages, or send e-mail notes when you're pleased about something at your child's school.
Regularly do things with your child, like projects around the house, recreational activities, and service projects. Take turns planning activities to do together as a family.
Negotiate family rules and consequences for breaking those rules.
Nurture yourself by spending time with people who care about you and are supportive. Also, take opportunities to learn new things, contribute to your community and have fun. You'll take better care of your children if you take care of yourself.
Eat at least one meal together as a family every day.
Don't let anyone in your family (including you) watch too much television. Find other interesting and meaningful activities for your children to do - some with you, some with their friends, some by themselves.
Recognize that children need more than just financial support. They also need emotional and intellectual support. Balance family time with other priorities like work, recreation, and hobbies.
Think of teenagers as adults in training. Teach them something practical, such as how to change a tire on the car, prepare a meal, or create a monthly budget. Explore with them what they're interested in doing as a career following graduation from high school.
Remember that you are not alone. Other positive adults in your children's lives include coaches, child care providers, religious education teachers, club leaders, and neighbors. Work with these people to give kids consistent messages about boundaries and values.
Make your home a safe haven, a place kids feel welcome and valued.
When you see a child or young person make a good decision, especially if it's a hard one, offer your praise and admiration.
Stay in contact with teachers about your child's progress, rather than waiting for report cards.
Pick a service project to do together, like collecting items for a food drive or delivering meals to homebound elders.